Living in the moment!

The alarm sounds at 5am, way too early for me! However, I had no choice today was my long awaited appointment at John Hopkins Medical Center. Josh and I proceeded to get ready and make the 2.5 hour trip up good ole I-95. Josh was a blessing and offered to drive, so I would not be more stressed than I already was. We realized that we got wrong directions after missing the exit for 495 and having to take 395 through DC. I am telling you one thing, there are some areas in DC you do not want to get turned around in. We finally arrived at 8:30am in Baltimore and made are way to JHMC. We parked, walked in, checked in etc etc. My appointment was at 10am and we actually did not get seen until 11:30am, but no big deal. The doctor I was given seemed to take his time with us, ran several tests and attempted to look at my MRI scans I had brought with me. However, once again dooped by Mary Washington Hospital. I hate that place by the way. MWH sends me with a disc of my MRI scans that the doctor can not open nor view. Basically long story short the doctor shares that he feels that I definitely have MS, but he can not give me his 100% opinion/diagnosis until he sees my other three brain scans. He talks with Josh and I about his concerns about me not being on medicine, then in the next breath says that the medicine is only 40% effective. The doctor shares that he wishes he could tell us more, but research has only discovered so much and that was it. Needless to say I was disappointed due to several things. Disappointed that the brain scans did not work, disappointed that he told me at any moment I could get a lesion on my spinal column and be paralyzed, disappointed that he was not willing to entertain any of my holistic treatment and new nothing about holistic treatment, overall disappointed. The only thing beneficial that came from meeting him is that he is pretty certain that I have lapsing remitting MS which overall is good news. This is a form of MS that somewhat "heals" its self, unlike the progressive forms that just get worse over time.

After all that as Josh and I walk back to the car I began thinking. I have another brain scan in December and that will help determine a lot as far as direction for this disease. However, I thought, you know I could start taking the main stream meds and have severe side effects come from them and wish I would have never taken them. Or I could continue doing what I am doing and something not good happen and wish I would have started taking the meds. Either way I am possibly going to have "bad" results. So my end thought was to continue the holistic approach until I get more direction in December. In the mean time I am going to live life to the fullest and in the moment. I am going to enjoy each moment that God gives me to laugh, cry, breath, walk etc. etc. Don't get me wrong, when I say in the moment I don't mean recklessly. What I mean is that I am not going to take anything for granted and I am not going to turn down opportunities to make memories..

So yesterday that is what Josh and I did. We spent the rest of the day in downtown Baltimore, visiting shops, seeing museums and just enjoying the day together. I had the best time with no planning involved. I had an amazingly fun day in a fun city with my very best friend in the whole world.